Is That Your Husband?

Another airport story...

It's the last flight out of AUS. I'm checking in at the American Airlines counter. They woman behind the counter looks at my drivers license. Her eyes get very large - and she asks, "Is that your husband?". I reply, Yesssss. "Is his name Jon. Like J-O-N Jon?". I reply, Nooooooo.

She then launches into a story on how before she worked for AA, she used to work for a daycare in this little tiny Texas town. There, she had a toddler in her "class" named Jon Baden. And then - she pauses dramatically - just last week there was some paperwork that she came across for lost luggage and the name on the tag was JBaden. She was just positive that my husband was the long lost Jon that she used to know 25 years ago and here he was to collect his lost luggage. Hmmmmm - no. I didn't bother to point out to her that she failed to ask if the luggage was mine since my initials atually happen to be JBaden.

Male vs Female

This is a true story.

My cousin and her daughter (age 12) are behind a pickup truck on the road. The truck has two sandbags hanging from the tow hitch. I'm not sure who started the conversation, but it was said that this must be an unneutered male truck. Saying something about the driver's masculinity? Who knows.... The 12 year old says maybe he's looking for a female truck. My cousin replies -- but how would you know a female truck? The response.... "Well, it would have really big headlights!"

Shakes head... ha ha ha.

My Teeth Hurt

We arrive at the oral surgeon's office. I pull out my laptop as Greg is called to the back. I'm on a deadline. The numbers aren't matching. The lone person in the waiting room - man? woman? I'm not entirely sure decides I must be bored. S/he was in for an x-ray. S/he'd been there for a long time and s/he was hungry. Was my husband able to eat before he came here? It didn't matter. S/he had food at home -- just up the 1L line -- but they were taking forever. S/he felt sorry for Greg because he needs his teeth out. But, Greg must be very lucky because he has me. Then s/he's afraid s/he said the wrong thing - and that it was meant to be a compliment. I nod - no worries, no offense taken.

Trying desperately to work on my reports....

3 ladies come in with a baby.

S/he is cooing, going crazy. S/he asks to hold the baby. The aunt respectively says, NO. We learn s/he is an aunt. Ahhh... so she's a girl. She says she has a knack for babies and that her entire visit is covered today and she doesn't have to pay for anything. Random, but OK. She reiterates that she's hungry.

Saved by a nurse. I'm called to the back to sit with one very groggy Greg.

A Jewish Star

I've just passed through security for the 4th time in 5 days. I'm at DFW heading back home. As I'm attempting to collect my laptop, shoes, ziploc bag of makeup, etc a TSA security guy leans over and says, "What's that around your neck?". I reply, "Oh my necklace... it's the Star of David. " His answer - no joke - (while digging under the top button of his shirt) "Oh, like this here Mo-gen Dah-veed??" Slightly puzzled and not at all wishing to look at anything below his head, I said, "Yeah, like that. Gotta run."

Ewww.... random men should not be digging around under their shirts to show you their necklace.

Going My Way?

Seriously people. I overheard some of the strangest conversations over the past few days at random airports...

Note to all you public cell phone talkers - we can hear you. Do you really want to be discussing *that* in public?

It's late. I'll share more tomorrow.

Post Office

Lady: Are you in line?
(No, I'm standing here for my health.)
Me: Umm, yes.
Lady: Are you sure?
Me: Umm, yes.
Lady: Well - okay then. (Standing a little too close for my personal space tastes...)