Parking

Running late to a doctor's appointment, I pull into the lot titled "Expectant Mothers" at the hospital. It's closer than the lot for my actual doctor's office.

The security guard starts to approach me as I'm jogging towards the front door.

Excuse me, this lot is for expectant mothers.

I am expecting. I'm 6 months pregnant.

But are you expecting.

Yep, thanks for thinking I don't look pregnant!

(And I continue on my way... completely pretending I didn't understand what he was telling me!)

I know, next time I'll park in the other lot. But this one doesn't say Mothers in Labor. It merely says Expectant Mothers. Clearly I qualify. :)

Things Not To Say to a Woman

I get it. I'm ordering a large entree. But seriously....

The location: Pasado's Restaurant

We had just returned from visiting the in-laws and were staying with my folks for a day or so before returning home. Me, hubby, and baby were having dinner with my folks. The waiter takes my Mom's order, then my Dad's, then mine then starts to walk away. Hubby says, "Excuse Me, but you didn't get my order."

The waiter then looks at me and says, "Oh, she ordered such a large entree, I thought you were sharing!"

Ummm, no. That'd be ALL for me. I'm eating for two still... actually, I'm eating more now than when I was pregnant. This nursing this is awesome. I realize it was a large entree, but you don't look at a girl and say, "Are you going to eat the WHOLE thing?"

Way to blow your chance at a tip there buddy.

You Really Shouldn't...

Is taking your child out in public an invitation for unsolicited advice? Apparently so.

The location: The local HEB (Grocery Store)

The unsolicited advice givers: Everyone!

Just this week I was told by well meaning strangers.... as I walked from the car to the store that I should have a screen for the car seat so the sunlight doesn't shine on the baby. (Thanks, but I think we're good for the 20 yards from the car to the store. Once inside, another woman told me the reason my son was fidgety was that he was wearing socks. (That was a new one for me.) All told he was being a pretty good baby considering the day we'd had. He was starting to wiggle a bit and I tried to calm him down and gave him the paci to occupy his thoughts while I finished purusing the produce. An older woman came over and tapped me on the shoulder as I was passing the onions... She said, and I quote, "I never gave my daughters a pacifier." I stared blankly at her. "Congratulations," I said. (Ummm... thanks for sharing.)

So, all that in the matter of an hour. If I used to think strangers like to talk to me before I had kid... I'm in for it now!

G'aaaah.

Ok, so it's been ages since I've posted my stories of random people telling me inappropriate things. And... of course, now that I thought to log in - I can't remember any of my recent stories.

Sigh, the pregnancy brain is getting to me.

I'll try to remember some of my recent encounters and post them soon...

Rude Grandma

The scene: RoundRock Outlet Malls
Date: Black Friday

I was the last one to join the rest of my group inside a kitchen store of some sorts. I walked in and not two seconds later from behind me I hear, "Well I guess some people think it's appropriate to slam the door in other people's faces!". I turn around and aplogize to the older woman and her daughter(?) by saying, "I apologize, I didn't see you behind me." The grandma's response... "Well if you'd have been paying better attention, maybe you would have!" I couldn't believe it! I replied, "Well I'm sorry I don't have eyes in the back of my head!"

Oy. I mean seriously.

JenX vs GenY

The scene: Starbucks.

I place my order. The relatively low-funk kid asks my name. I reply, Jen. Huh? I reply, JenX. Like JenX for GenerationX. He laughs. Wow, so you're old then... like born in the 70s?

Yes... that'd be me.

Tu parle francais?

I realize that most people in the US do not speak a second language. But... there are plenty of people that are in fact bilingual.

After it was confirmed that my husband was not J-O-N Jon, I made my way to the gate for my flight. There were 2 other people seated waiting, and I took a seat, pulling out my laptop to check on a few things, email some friends, etc. Three business men walked up to the gate chatting with one another. The oldest gentleman made a comment about me and they sat down. Little did he realize that even though he was speaking in FRENCH, I could understand him! I turned my head suddenly and looked straight at him. I'm not sure if he knew that I understood. The three sat down and proceeded to watch some comedy sketch in French on YouTube. I only understood bits and pieces because they were talking quickly -- but it amused me to know that I understood any of it and that the gentlemen were carrying on as if no one else around would know what they were doing.

It was all I could do to not blurt out in French - I hope you enjoyed Austin. Were you here for business or pleasure? Anything simple, just to prove that I knew the language and that they shouldn't assume that no one around them was listening...